Rejection

My single greatest fear is Fear of Rejection.  My whole life I have always wanted to be accepted.  I didn’t really care about being nominated for awards and I definitely did not want to draw special attention to myself.  I just wanted to be a part of something bigger than my life experiences.  I just wanted to fit in and have people like me for who and what I was.  My childhood was full of disappointment and on many occasions I felt as though no one really cared about me.   Instead of acceptance, I often came face to face with rejection.  My fear of rejection seemed to come naturally, as my father rejected me when he decided not to stick around for my birth.  I have always been told that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I not only repeated that to myself daily, I believed it. I thought somehow my pain would just transform itself into strength.  In some ways, I did gain strength but in others, I grew weaker.

No matter how hard I worked or what goals I achieved, I still fear rejection.  I have a strong desire for everyone to like me.  I want to be liked not for the sake of popularity but so that I don’t have to experience rejection.  My fear of rejection is connected to deeper issues and I vow to do what I can to not let my fear cripple me anymore.